


Dear Yousef

by eilidhlovessj



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dear John Letter, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 14:50:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11233263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eilidhlovessj/pseuds/eilidhlovessj
Summary: Takes place before Yousef leaves for Turkey. Was written after the Sunday clip was released but before any of the other clips were released. Unable to express her feelings in person Sana writes a Dear John type message to Yousef.





	Dear Yousef

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my beta on Tumblr phandooms for supporting me. Enjoy.

Saturday 1:00

Sana lay on her bed in darkness as she pondered over everything that happened over the past week. Her mind had been all over the place ever since Noora had shown her Yousef’s messages. She finally felt like she had finally gathered courage that she needed to be honest with him about her real feelings for him only for him to tell her that he was leaving. She knew logically that two months was not forever but in her heart it felt once he’d left things between them would never be the same. After all the obstacles that been thrown their way to keep them apart Sana couldn’t help but feel that it was the universe’s way of telling them that despite what Yousef believed they were just not meant to be together. 

Spending time with Yousef tonight as they had broken the fast had been one of the hardest thing she had ever done. Knowing that he was leaving and being around him was like having her heart broken a thousand times and as he’d said goodbye to the boys she felt his eyes on her. She wanted more than anything to hug and beg him not to go and just pour out everything that she had been feeling the past few weeks but she just kept her mouth shut and wished him a safe journey.

She wasn’t sure why but this movie that the girls had made her watch during one their sleepovers, Dear John. She remembered the girl in the movie writing a letter to her lover explaining her feelings towards him and ending their relationship. She felt that writing a letter to Yousef could help her deal with the pain of the reality of what her relationship with Yousef would never and the regret she felt even if she wouldn’t send it. So she opened up her messages and went back to unblock Yousef and opened her last message from him and began to type.

Dear Yousef  
First I just want to say that I’m sorry for all the pain that I have caused you. I know that I should have warned you about Even being at SYNG and not interfered but I hope you know that I really was just trying to help, he really missed you guys and I know that you missed him too. Second I just want to say that I’m sorry that I’ve been sending you mixed signals and I want to be absolutely clear with you. I love you. Wow I think that’s first time I’ve actually said it, I love you. For so long I’ve felt like I’ve never fit in anywhere, I was always too Muslim or too Norwegian or not pretty or not fun enough but with you I felt for the first time I could really be myself. I didn’t have to hide behind anything and I felt like you really saw me. But when I saw you kiss Noora it broke my heart. It felt like once again I wasn’t enough. I thought you had just used me to get closer to her and I felt so stupid and embarrassed, that’s why I’ve been so cold towards you I wanted to protect myself from hurt anymore and I thought you didn’t really care. And at Eva’s party Noora showed me everything that you had said and I don’t think there are words to describe how happy I was. I wish I knew that you had felt the same way I do before. I was gonna tell you on Sunday but then you said that you were leaving I couldn’t do it. I’ve thought a lot about this over the past few days and I realise now that everything that’s happened is a sign that even though we care each other we’re just not supposed to be together. I know that one day you’re gonna find someone who will love you as much as I do and when you do I hope that you’ll be happy. If I don’t find that happiness than that’s ok I know that I'll be happy with whatever path Allah has chosen for me. Finally I just want you to know that no matter what happens I’ll always love you. Goodbye Yousef Acar and thank you for being my soulmate.  
All my love   
Sana Bakkoush.  
As she wrote the message tears fell down Sana’s face and by the time she had finished she was sobbing. As she continued to cry she found herself slowly falling asleep and without even realising it as her phone slipped through her fingers. Her thumb hit the send button.


End file.
